Dear Dolores: She’s Sending Mixed Signals

Dear Dolores,

For the past several months I’ve been trying to be with this woman. Every time I ask, I am denied. She continues to send mixed signals, getting my hopes up, and then goes out and ignores me. I adore her. I care about her. I’d love nothing more than to be able to call her my own so we could spend the rest of our lives together. We both have an interest, we’ve spoken about it, I’m just not sure what to do. Every time I feel like we’re getting somewhere, she ends up in a relationship with someone else and I feel like I’m a last resort if there’s no one else… I have no idea what to do, I really care about her, and I really do like her. Please help. 

— Twitter Warrior

Dear Twitter Warrior,

I am sorry, man. Have a seat. Welcome to Auntie Dolores’ Tough Love Seminar for the Hard Headed. This woman is not interested in you and has no intention of being with you. You are wasting your time pursuing this person. This does not mean you’re not amazing and it doesn’t mean you won’t make a great partner to someone else. I’m sure you’re great and I am sure there are plenty of ladies who would be interested, but this particular one is not. Let’s break it down:

• “Every time I ask, I am denied.” – This should be your stopping point. She already told you. 
• “She continues to send mixed signals” – I have to ask, are her “mixed signals” flirting or just communicating with you? If she is not returning your interest the same way you do hers, she is not interested in you in the same way. 
• “We both have an interest, we’ve spoken about it” – Unfortunately, it’s not what you say in these situations, it’s what you do. 
• “Every time I feel like we’re getting somewhere, she ends up in a relationship with someone else” – This is the “what you do” that I mentioned. When she finds herself single, she does not think of you. 

Twitter Warrior, you are worth more than what this woman is valuing you. Let her go and invest your time and care into someone who will give it back. I’m rooting for you!

— Love, Dolores

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