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Dear Dolores, Is This Guy Playing Me?



Dear Dolores,
I am not sure what I should do, Dolores? There is a guy that I kind of like; however, he seems to attract a lot of female attention or enjoys having multiple females’ attention. He tells me that he cares about me, but I can’t help but feel as if it’s a lie. He focuses strictly on me when around, but what happens when I am not around. He gives me gifts and stands up for me, but I feel like it’s all a facade. 

My friends are even slightly cautious about him. They worry that he is using me. Every time I tell myself that I won’t fall for this, I fail. Friends’ judgments are always the best, and your gut judgement, but I still feel confused about what I should do? Should I walk away, or should I tell him like it is and hope for the better? This has become way more than I asked for in life… 
– A Hero

Dear Hero,
It certainly sounds like your friends don’t like this guy for you. What is it that you want? It seems to me like you don’t trust him or his motivations. Is there something that prompted this mistrust? If so, it seems like you already have your answer. 

What is it that your friends think this guy is using you for? Is it attention? Companionship? Sex? Are you considering pursuing a relationship with this guy? I must say, this doesn’t seem like a very strong foundation for a future relationship if you already don’t trust him. Ask yourself what your motivations are for continuing to talk to this person. Sometimes it feels nice to be the object of someone’s attention when they’re known for getting around. However, if this person has historically exhibited this behavior, they are not likely to change it now. 

This is all to say that if you like this person, proceed with caution. However, if your friends don’t like your partner, it doesn’t look good for your relationship in the long term. 
Love, Dolores

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