Dear Dolores: I Want To Explore My Dating Options

Dear Dolores,

I’m a young filly who recently left my significant other after it was informed to me he was cheating on me with some hideous, buck-toothed creature of the night. Since then, I’ve done some experimenting. I decided to go on a date with a very pretty lady, and while it was fun, I can’t help but feel guilty; she seems more infatuated with me than I am her. 

I certainly think she’s a joy to be around and find her very pleasing to the eye, but my eyes ultimately seem to wander towards other men. Nonetheless, I am unsure if I ought to wait and see if something happens, or let her know now that there’s no intimate spark betwixt us. And yet, even without the spark, I still find myself incredibly curious as to what it’s like to kiss a girl…

Dolores, What do I do?

— Dazed & Confused

Dear Dazed,

First of all, congratulations on exploring your sexuality. This is a very important part of understanding yourself, who you are and what you want. From a first glance, it sounds like what you’ve experienced is what some call “bi panic”. Oh no, she’s hot! He’s hot! They’re hot too! Who do I look at first?! This is fine and normal, and you can spend your time and attention on whomever you want. 

However, when it comes to dating and relationships, my advice to you is to take gender completely out of the equation and focus only on how you’re treating this person. If you’re sensing this person is more into you than you are into them, best thing to do is to let them know exactly how you’re feeling. You can do this with honesty and compassion. If they’re already investing emotional energy into you and you can feel it, be kind and let them know they should probably not start looking for U-Haul reservations. 

It sounds like you’re not quite ready to settle down again. I would be up front with potential partners in order to avoid hurt feelings. “Waiting to see” if an attraction happens is basically stringing this person along until you find someone who piques your interest more. Be honest with others and yourself. It sounds like you already know what you want, and if that’s making out with a woman, that’s easy enough. I hear Metal Mondays at the Hideaway are a good time. 

— Love, Dolores

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