Spring 2021 Elections
Inauguration Day
ZERO PERMITS: Paleto Mayor’s Office Issues Rare “Please Stop Crucifying People” Reminder
⚠️ WEAZEL NEWS CONTENT WARNING DISCLAIMER ⚠️Note: The following article contains references to religious imagery, public crucifixion, missing footwear, questionable...
BEACON OF BETRAYAL: Lighthouse Party Removes Muratori And Argues Death Penalty Worse Than Cannibalism, But Only Slightly
The Lighthouse Party, long known for guiding the government through turbulent waters, has found itself at the center of controversy...
Fall 2026 State Election Registration Closing Soon!
ROCKFORD HILLS, LOS SANTOS (WZL) – San Andreas is ramping up to hold its sixteenth (16th) regular election with the...
Get Out And Vote! Spring 2026 General Election Polls Open
No matter what your reason is, GO VOTE! (Song by Lulu Moon) Voting has begun! Starting at 2pm (ET) on...
The End Is Nigh: Fruit Computers Ending Legacy Contact Backups
ROCKFORD HILLS, LOS SANTOS (WZL) – For those of you who may have been living under a rock, the iFruit...
BOLINGBROKE PENITENTIARY INMATE ESCAPES; U.S. MARSHALS + SA D.O.C ISSUE WANTED NOTICE FOR ANDREW ABRUZZI
SAN ANDREAS — Federal authorities are urgently searching for Andrew Abruzzi, a 35-year-old inmate who escaped Bolingbroke State Penitentiary on...
A Growing Dynasty: The Bayview Flats Now Leasing In Paleto Bay
Dynasty Realty has announced the grand opening of the Bayview Flats offering prospective renters an exciting, new opportunity all the...
BREAKING NEWS: Pillbox Fire Shuts Down Primary Trauma Center Emergency Room
Yesterday afternoon fire raged through the lower level of Pillbox Hill Medical Center. With extensive damage to the emergency room,...
Merge And Serve: Law Enforcement Announces A New Era Of Policing
The Los Santos Police Department, Blaine County Sheriff’s Office, and San Andreas State Police issued a press release announcing the...
Grounded No More: San Andreas Officially Takes Control Of Fort Zancudo
It’s been just over three (3) months since former Governor Jeremy Barbant announced the demilitarization of Fort Zancudo by the...
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Fall 2026 Elections4 weeks ago
Fall 2026 State Election Registration Closing Soon!
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Fall 2026 Elections3 weeks ago
BEACON OF BETRAYAL: Lighthouse Party Removes Muratori And Argues Death Penalty Worse Than Cannibalism, But Only Slightly
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Crime6 days ago
ZERO PERMITS: Paleto Mayor’s Office Issues Rare “Please Stop Crucifying People” Reminder