Connect with us

Satire

McKenzie Horse Appointed Secretariat Of State

Published

on

With voting in full swing and the inauguration of a new government on the horizon, Governor Karmen McKenzie has made one final announcement to cement her legacy. The Executive has adopted a new office into their Branch, filling it with one of their own. The newest McKenzie family horse, Tomorrow’s Regret, has officially been appointed Secretariat of State in the final moments as we race to the end of this term.

Tomorrow’s Regret comes from a long lineage of horses raised at the storied McKenzie Ranch. A departure from most horse breeding, each McKenzie horse is hand-selected and adopted into the lineage, rather than bred for genetic performance. This particular horse was “sired” by the ranch’s oldest stallion, Oliver Twist, the 119th such adoption since he came to the McKenzies. In the “Triple Crown” of adoptions, Tomorrow’s Regret has been designated with three parents, with mare Karmen Sandiego and wild stallion McFrenzie joining Oliver Twist on the paperwork.

As Secretariat of State, Tomorrow’s Regret is expected to oversee all election races moving forward. While some members of the public have questioned the horse’s qualifications, Governor McKenzie released a statement defending the appointment:

With recent constitutional challenges to the legality of our election process, it is paramount that the State of San Andreas bring a thoroughadopted champion in to ensure the integrity of our democracy. There are none more prepared to take on this responsibility than the newest member of my family’s stable.

Governor Karmen McKenzie

This latest development is sure to leave us all bridled with anticipation. Now that the announcement is official, we’ll see how it turns out one way or the other. After all, yesterday’s vote is Tomorrow’s Regret.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest News

Stella's Scoops4 days ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 66

Fancy Schmancy! The San Andreas State Police (SASP) has officially moved into their newly renovated headquarters at Mission Row. They...

Cameras In The Courtroom4 days ago

Cameras In The Courtroom: 2024-CV-007

[2024-CV-007] – Black Lotus Motorcycle Club v. Los Santos Police Department TLDW (Too Long; Didn’t Watch): Docket for [2024-CV-007] Date:...

Events6 days ago

Empower Yourself: First Aid Training With San Andreas Fire And Rescue

RICHMAN, SAN ANDREAS (WZL) – Hey, San Andreas! Have you ever felt helpless to a friend while waiting for first...

Government1 week ago

SASP Celebrates HR 330 Signing And Newly Renovated Mission Row Headquarters

Mission Row, Los Santos – The San Andreas State Police (SASP) issued a press release Monday afternoon celebrating the signing...

Stella's Scoops2 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 65

It’s A Doggy Dog World! No typo there. The San Andreas Parks Department will and always will be run by...

Stella's Scoops3 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 64

Record Breaking Friday! As usual for months now, DJ Spooky Entertainment holds their monthly Food Truck Friday event in Little...

Government3 weeks ago

31st March Government Town Hall

Note: A full town hall recording can be found at the bottom of the page. State Rep Emilie Lillegård-Paxton hosted...

Business3 weeks ago

Shout News Shouts And Let’s It All Out With New App!

LOS SANTOS, SAN ANDREAS (WZL) – Exciting news, San Andreas! Shout News joins the ranks of other news companies in our great...

Stella's Scoops4 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 63

And The Winner Is… Monday’s Special Election results party went smoothly without any known incidents. Konrad Knives won with 45.97%...

Stella's Scoops1 month ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 62

Compound Issues… SWAT raided the Black Lotus compound last night. Shout News published the press release issued by the newly...

Trending