Connect with us


Go Postal Cuts Corners With Instant Delivery Service



Los Santos, San Andreas – In a leaked prototype advertisement, Go Postal appears set to reaffirm its commitment to Instant Delivery™, its flagship service. With Instant Delivery™, Go Postal guarantees every package delivered within five minutes of it being dispatched from their Vinewood Depot. This service is available throughout San Andreas; no matter the distance, packages will arrive on time or the driver is fired on the spot! The Ferret Files caught up with company officials to receive an official statement on the leaked ad:

“We strive to ensure our deliveries are the fastest in the industry. Go Postal’s unique approach to ignoring all traffic laws ensures your package will arrive before you’re even notified that it’s been sent! To coincide with our upcoming ad, we’re also releasing a brand new mission statement to guide the trek each package will take to get to our customers. We believe this reflects our commitment to explore strange new neighborhoods, to seek out new routes and new destinations: To Quickly Go Where No Package Has Gone Before™”

Go Postal Press Liaison

While they still don’t offer any form of damage liability, this new advertising campaign offers a closer look at the company’s greatest strength: speed. It’s clear Go Postal intends to leave no corner uncut, no window un-smashed, and no package undelivered. So, when you see drivers ramming their vans into cars, buildings, and even people, just remember; they’re doing it for YOU (and to not get fired). Go Postal Instant Delivery™, available immediately.

Continue Reading
1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. William Benning

    June 15, 2022 at 4:48 am

    GoPostal Xtreme is not responsible for lost packages and vehicle or property damage. People should be more worried about the cheap steel and aluminum used to construct light poles. They are the REAL hazard in the city

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest News

Stella's Scoops3 days ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 72

Congrats Blissful Events! Blissful Events celebrated their 1-Year anniversary with music, vendors, and fun! The decor was absolutely next level,...

Spring 2024 Elections4 days ago

GO VOTE! Vote in the Spring 2024 Election

Voting begins tonight! Starting at 8 pm (ET) on the 26th of May, citizens can cast their vote for who...

Stella's Scoops1 week ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 71

New Makeup? No, Annie, it’s a cosmetic shop for cars. You can look at it as makeup for cars, but...

Stella's Scoops2 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 70

To Bill or Not to Bill… A new bill was submitted this week, which made a lot of people on...

The Exchange2 weeks ago

The Exchange – Episode 8: H.R. 336 w/ State Rep Emilie Lillegard-Marino And State Rep Asst Burton

This is Jack Callow, presenting a special edition of The Exchange. Today we speak with State Representative Emilie Lillegard-Marino and...

Government3 weeks ago

Gang Law Or Bill Flaw? A Closer Look At The H.R. 336 Controversy

Disclaimer: Most information in this article is a result of a public survey created on Monday, the 6th of May...

Ads3 weeks ago

Unleash Your Musical Talent: Join the Battle of the Bands for Education!

RICHMAN, SAN ANDREAS (WZL)—Calling all musicians, bands, and music enthusiasts! Get ready to rock and showcase your skills at the...

Stella's Scoops3 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 69

Wow, that’s a lot of Scoops… NICE! Let’s get into it! Got Talent? The Board of Education is inviting all...

Crime4 weeks ago

Major Crimes Division Press Release: La Mesa PD Destroyed

The Major Crimes Division issued a press release in the late evening hours of Saturday night, sharing the news of...

San Andreas Snaps4 weeks ago

April Snaps Are In!

April was filled with earth events, such as National Parks Week and Stoner Daze, to name a few. I asked...