Connect with us

Satire

Black Lotus MC Sacrificed For Three Mana

Published

on

Mirror Park, Los Santos – Last Thursday, Los Santos’ most picturesque neighborhood experienced unprecedented tragedy. A man commonly spotted begging down in the canals was seen walking along the shores of Mirror Park Pond carrying a large sword doused in flame. He stalked up from the water, making his way north across the very bridge where he sometimes made camp. The sun itself seemed to darken, casting a shadow in the street as he came to a stop outside beloved local business Ronnie’s Custom Choppers.

Sensing danger, the bikers within gathered at the gate, standing tall against this oddly imposing stranger. The man raised his sword, flames dancing into the shadows that quickly grew around him. He leveled the weapon at the gate, which melted to a heap of twisted steel as heat rendered it unrecognizable. With the black-and-blue adorned defenders within now exposed, he began muttering in a strange language that sent chills down their spines.

One man among them stepped forward to face this clear threat unafraid. He sauntered calmly to the curb, striking a heroic pose as he threw his voice into the gathering shadows. “Hey I’m Larry Tate, President of Black Lotus MC San Andreas, also known as the Allfather of the MC culture in the state of San Andreas, also known as the future governor of San Andreas, also known as the future king of the peoples republic of Mirror Park, also known as the best fucking clothing designer in the state. And last but not least, the longest standing -” At that moment, the boisterous man suddenly dissolved, leaving nothing but a pool of blood swelling outward from a kutte that collapsed upon the space where his body once stood.

Recognizing they must act quickly, the men and women rushed out of the compound, wielding bats, hatchets, guns, and more. They surrounded the strange man, dashing in with a rebel yell to get revenge for their fallen leader. Many club members sank to the ground in pain as the shadows touched their skin, absorbing them into its darkness like tentacles searching for purchase. Bullets appeared useless, disappearing into the shadowy cloud with no apparent contact within. The flames sought out those that circle wide of the darkness, leaving charred kuttes in its wake.

Suddenly, the roar of an engine approached from behind the compound, and a chopper soared over the building, its two wheels spinning in midair as it arced toward the shadow mage. The man atop the bike roared in defiance, raising his wrench as he leapt from the seat down into the center of the street. Even as the shadows reached for his body, the weapon was already swinging, connecting with the head of the man who killed his friends. The man stumbled sideways at the force of the blow, reaching up to feel the crescent-shaped imprint just under his right eye.

Alas, the blow itself was not enough to change the tide, and the battle was over. Shadow tendrils picked up each fallen kutte, gathering them together in front of the flame. The sword stabbed through the charred fabric, smoldering under its heat as the man’s voice reached a crescendo. The shadows parted below the ruined kuttes, revealing a blood-red motorcycle with gold flames along its body. The man mounted his new steed, revving the engine in salute to the fallen warriors.

It was then, and only then, that he spoke a known language for the first time. “You, who have fought so bravely here today, your sacrifice will not be in vain, as it was necessary for the greater good. With this dragon, I shall ride to save all San Andreas from the Journeying Alien, RyRyvidel, Collector of Collectibles. I will carry this crescent mark with me for eternity as I walk the planes of Grand Senora, so that all may know the power of the Black Lotus. I shall call it the ‘Mark of the Elder Doyle’ in your honor.”

The motorcycle sped off to the east, climbing the hills as shadows trailed behind it. Little is known of what happened next, but it is said that the sounds of intense battle came down from the tower atop the reservoir that day. The brave men and women of Black Lotus will be celebrated throughout history for the defense of our fair state, and they will not be soon forgotten.

The Ferret Files and other satire articles on this site are entirely works of fiction. Such articles a source of parody, satire, and humor and are for entertainment only. All news articles tagged as Satire are works of fiction. Any truth or actual facts contained in news stories or posts with this tag are purely incidental or coincidental and are not intended to be, or be construed as, facts.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest News

Stella's Scoops4 days ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 72

Congrats Blissful Events! Blissful Events celebrated their 1-Year anniversary with music, vendors, and fun! The decor was absolutely next level,...

Spring 2024 Elections4 days ago

GO VOTE! Vote in the Spring 2024 Election

Voting begins tonight! Starting at 8 pm (ET) on the 26th of May, citizens can cast their vote for who...

Stella's Scoops1 week ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 71

New Makeup? No, Annie, it’s a cosmetic shop for cars. You can look at it as makeup for cars, but...

Stella's Scoops2 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 70

To Bill or Not to Bill… A new bill was submitted this week, which made a lot of people on...

The Exchange3 weeks ago

The Exchange – Episode 8: H.R. 336 w/ State Rep Emilie Lillegard-Marino And State Rep Asst Burton

This is Jack Callow, presenting a special edition of The Exchange. Today we speak with State Representative Emilie Lillegard-Marino and...

Government3 weeks ago

Gang Law Or Bill Flaw? A Closer Look At The H.R. 336 Controversy

Disclaimer: Most information in this article is a result of a public survey created on Monday, the 6th of May...

Ads3 weeks ago

Unleash Your Musical Talent: Join the Battle of the Bands for Education!

RICHMAN, SAN ANDREAS (WZL)—Calling all musicians, bands, and music enthusiasts! Get ready to rock and showcase your skills at the...

Stella's Scoops4 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 69

Wow, that’s a lot of Scoops… NICE! Let’s get into it! Got Talent? The Board of Education is inviting all...

Crime4 weeks ago

Major Crimes Division Press Release: La Mesa PD Destroyed

The Major Crimes Division issued a press release in the late evening hours of Saturday night, sharing the news of...

San Andreas Snaps4 weeks ago

April Snaps Are In!

April was filled with earth events, such as National Parks Week and Stoner Daze, to name a few. I asked...

Trending