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Ask Scarlett – Flirting on a First Date



Hello, and welcome to Ask Scarlett! My name, obviously, is Scarlett, and I am here to answer YOUR questions about love, dating, relationships, and more. You can send your questions in the form below, and I will do my best to answer them as quickly as possible. Remember, the more information you can give me, the better advice I can give you! I look forward to helping as many of you as possible.

(Questions may be slightly edited for grammar, proper punctuation, etc., for publishing.)


What’s the appropriate amount of flirting on the first date?

  • David S.

Hi David S.,

Embarking on a first date can be an exhilarating experience filled with anticipation and excitement. It’s a chance to explore a potential connection, share meaningful conversations, and, of course, engage in some flirting. Flirting on a first date can be a delightful way to spark a romantic connection and create a memorable experience. However, finding the right balance of flirting can sometimes be a tricky endeavor.

The appropriate amount of flirting on a first date can vary depending on the individuals involved and their comfort levels. Flirting can be a fun and natural way to show interest, but it’s important to be mindful and respectful of boundaries. Here are a few guidelines to consider:

Start with light and playful flirting: Begin with casual compliments, light teasing, or humorous banter. This can create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere without overwhelming the other person.

Gauge the other person’s response: Pay attention to their body language, verbal cues, and overall comfort level. If they seem receptive and engaged, you can continue, but if they appear uncomfortable or uninterested, it’s best to rethink your approach.

(Photo by: Katerina Holmes)

Respect personal boundaries: Be aware of personal boundaries and avoid making overly suggestive or explicit comments or advances. It’s important to maintain a respectful and comfortable environment for both individuals while you are still getting to know each other. Once you become more comfortable and get a sense of each other’s sense of humor, you can branch out more.

Be authentic and genuine: Flirting should be a reflection of your true personality and intentions. Instead of resorting to generic pickup lines or excessive flattery, focus on sincere compliments and engaging in meaningful conversations.

Maintain balance: Remember that a first date is primarily about getting to know each other. While flirting can enhance the romantic or playful aspect, it’s important to balance flirting and having genuine conversations to establish a deeper connection. You want to spend the majority of your time together exploring how your personalities and interests might make you a good match. So don’t get too caught up in being overly flirtatious and lose sight of that.

Ultimately, communication and mutual understanding are key. Pay attention to the other person’s cues, respect their boundaries, and let the conversation and chemistry guide the level of flirting on the first date. Good luck out there!



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