Dear Dolores,
A few weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend because of multiple things. What it all boils down to is I broke his heart. Well, we have been slowly talking a bit since then and I realized that I am in love with him and always have been but was just scared so I ran. I am trying to give him the space he needs but I am scared I am being too pushy. At what point do I stop and just accept the realization that I fucked up and we are over.
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Relationships are a two way street. You made a choice to end your relationship, which affected both you and your partner. If you’ve been on either side of a break up, you know there’s a lot of processing from that side as well. You won’t know where his head is until you ask him, and at this point you have to be okay with his response if his answer is that he no longer wants to consider a relationship with you.
I always caution friends about getting back together with an ex simply because there’s a reason you broke up in the first place and history tends to repeat itself. How do you know you’re ready now, after a few weeks? If you are and you are able to convince your ex of this, I applaud you. If you’re not, is it really fair to subject him to your cold feet again? If the situation were reversed, how would you want to be treated? Just something to consider.
– Love, Dolores
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