Local Heroes

Burgers, Bandits, and Rescues: A Wild Day For Vespucci’s Burgershot Restaurant

Published

12 months ago

May 10, 2023

At roughly 3:30 ET yesterday, May 9th, I received a phone call from Lieutenant Junior Major of the San Andreas State Police (SASP), who informed me that a woman was trapped inside the Burgershot restaurant on San Andreas Avenue. He told me to come quickly, as it was a breaking story, so my partner Remy and I drove down there as fast as traffic laws allowed. It was a life-or-death situation for the burgers inside, at least.

A joint operation of four government departments was needed to release the “Burgershot Bandit”. (Photo Credit: Annie Wren-Laws)

Arriving at the restaurant, we were met with a flurry of vehicles, ranging from trooper cars to fire trucks. Around fifteen people stood outside the building, and it seemed the poor person trapped inside had gotten out just as we pulled up. A crowd of people celebrated her release, cheering the poor trapped woman as she escaped.

The “Burgershot Bandit” after being freed from her french fry lock-up, an outreach programme that worked! (Photo Credit: Annie Wren-Laws)

On scene, I spoke to a member of San Andreas Fire and Rescue (SAFR), Chase Dane, who informed me they had received a 911 call about the incident and had rushed down to try and help. He reached out via Twitter to find the owner of the building, who came to release the woman from her burger-bun-filled jail.

“We received a 911 call saying there was someone stuck. As we got on scene, she was stuck inside the building and wasn’t able to get out because all the doors were locked. We decided we didn’t want to force the door if we didn’t have to, so posted on Twitter to see if anyone was around from Burgershot, and I guess the Burgershot owner came down. He had a discussion with her and eventually let her out. Yeah, here we are.’
Statement from Chase Dane – San Andreas Fire and Rescue (SAFR)

Chase Dane attempting to reach the owner of Burgershot. (Source: Twitter)

“’I’m Lieutenant Junior Major with the San Andreas State Police. We received a call roughly 20 minutes ago that the Burgershot bandit had broken in again. When we arrived on scene, there she was, claiming that she’s a nurse, but there’s no way to verify that. All we really know is that she broke in and that she wouldn’t come out again; she had barricaded herself inside, demanding more burgers. It was crazy! And then we called in Public Works, Fire and Rescue (SAFR), the Black Lotus crew, [and] Weazel News. Make sure you show that BCSO did not show at all.”
Statement from Lieutenant Junior Major – San Andreas State Police (SASP)

“A joint force of LSPD and SASP came down here after a 911 call had been put in that a woman was locked inside the Burgershot facility, with joint forces of Public Works, San Andreas Fire Rescue, the Los Santos Police Department, and the San Andreas State Police, we were able to contact the owner via Twitter who unlocked the door to get the woman to safety. Afterward, the police were nice enough to pay for everyone’s meal at Burgershot.”
Statement from Stan Schultz – Los Santos Police Department (LSPD)

I spoke to the poor person who had been trapped inside, and this is what she had to say:

“The door was open when I was jogging by, and I stopped to get food. I came in the door, and as I saw no one was behind the counter, I looked on my phone to see if anyone was working. No one was working, so I quickly turned to run back to the door, and it was locked. I am very upset by the accusations that I am the Burgershot Bandit because of the fact that I’m not cool enough to be a criminal. Ask my husband.”
Statement from Amber Kemp – Nurse, Also Not The Burgershot Bandit

The “Burgershot Bandit” realizing she was trapped. (Photo Credit: Annie Wren-Laws)

Weazel News has verified the identity of the trapped woman, Amber Kemp, and it appears as though Lieutenant Junior Major did not do every aspect of his job, as it was rather easy to confirm she is a nurse at Pillbox Medical. It seems like she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and perhaps got just a little too excited about the idea of a fresh burger. She wasn’t aware the building was not open for business when she ran in, so maybe the owner should check his locks more often?