Dear Dolores: Am I Moving Too Fast?

Dear Dolores,

Hello there Dolores, thank you for doing something like this, it is much needed as I know I am not the only one needing advice. My question is, am I going too quickly?

I have been seeing this person for about 2 weeks now but I have been close friends with them for what feels like years but they only recently confessed their love for me which started us dating. I love this person but I don’t want to ruin things or have friends and family think badly about rushing. I can see me marrying them and spending my life with them.

Help me Dolores, you’re my only hope.

— Sandy Saint

Dear Sandy Saint,

When it comes to personal relationships, the only opinions that actually matter are yours and your partner’s. It is a nice feeling to be excited about your new romantic partner and an even nicer one to imagine the lifetime you’ll have together. Ask yourself where your concern about moving too quickly is coming from. Are you worried about yours or your partner’s comfort or are you worried about the outside perception of your relationship?

The support of family and friends is important. It is validating to hear from others that you’ve made a good choice and that your partner gets along with the other people in your life who are important to you. Your family and friends are presumably concerned for your emotional safety and comfort and if they are expressing concern, I would assume it is coming from a place of love. 

Marriage as I view it is a lifelong commitment. It is one that should be considered and entered into after your relationship has withstood some trials. Going directly from the honeymoon phase of a new relationship to marriage is a mistake more often than not. Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone before they’ve gotten a chance to annoy you by doing something completely innocuous is a recipe for a bad time. You mentioned you’ve been friends for a while before adding romance. This is an important factor and one that should not be discounted. If this person is your person, the one you see forever with, what does it matter when forever starts? 

This is all to say, basically, that if you and your partner are happy, comfortable, and certain, the timeline of your romantic relationship is irrelevant. 

— Love, Dolores

Dear Dolores,

How can anyone be happy pursuing romantic relationships in a world shackled by corporate cronyism and financial inequity? What good is agonizing over the approval of friends and family when at the end of the day your happiness (and your marriage license) is subject to the whims of the corrupt State? Without freedom to live and love independently of the unjust systems that control our daily lives, what help can you provide these people other than to bolster their own self-delusions? Perhaps it’s time you put your platform to better use giving the public advice that will actually make their lives better.

— Love, Mutiny Editors

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