Connect with us


Sprunk “SAFE TO DRINK” According to Mount Zonah

Avatar photo



LOS SANTOS (WZ) — In a urgent press release, Mount Zonah Medical Center has announced the following:

After multiple batch testing, including but not limited to Mass Spectrometer analysis of the Sprunk soft drink, Mount Zonah has found the following: Sprunk is a soft drink that contains no actively dangerous or hazardous chemicals, outside the normal scope of soft drinks. The drink does NOT contain mercury, nor ether.

We did, however, find traces of mercury in the hospital itself, as well as evidence that tampering may have occurred with the initial sample with the possible intention of creating the exact scenario we saw over the last few days.

This comes after Public Works announced a sponsorship with Sprunk. Concerns were initially raised and some Sprunk Vending machines were vandalized, according to an insider. 

Concerning the release above it says that “We did, however, find traces of mercury in the hospital itself,” alleging that the initial panic may have been a result of tampering. We are seeking more information on this.

The release from the Medical Center goes on to say:

We at Mount Zonah have deemed Sprunk safe to drink, and while it may claim to be the essence of life we will always recommend you limit your caffeine and sugar intake, of which the soft drink contains an above daily recommended amount. Please exercise discretion and do not drink Sprunk to excess. As always we recommend a balanced and healthy diet, of which soft drinks may be a small part. 
Attrib. Lorren Anders, Assistant Chief of Surgery.

Sprunk is a lemon-lime soft drink which is widely consumed across America. Sprunk has come under fire recently for trying to market it’s ‘Sprunk Fuel’ as a health pick-me-up energy drink.

If you know anything about the ongoing Sprunk Mania, please let us know via our Tipline 

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest News

Stella's Scoops4 days ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 72

Congrats Blissful Events! Blissful Events celebrated their 1-Year anniversary with music, vendors, and fun! The decor was absolutely next level,...

Spring 2024 Elections4 days ago

GO VOTE! Vote in the Spring 2024 Election

Voting begins tonight! Starting at 8 pm (ET) on the 26th of May, citizens can cast their vote for who...

Stella's Scoops1 week ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 71

New Makeup? No, Annie, it’s a cosmetic shop for cars. You can look at it as makeup for cars, but...

Stella's Scoops2 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 70

To Bill or Not to Bill… A new bill was submitted this week, which made a lot of people on...

The Exchange2 weeks ago

The Exchange – Episode 8: H.R. 336 w/ State Rep Emilie Lillegard-Marino And State Rep Asst Burton

This is Jack Callow, presenting a special edition of The Exchange. Today we speak with State Representative Emilie Lillegard-Marino and...

Government3 weeks ago

Gang Law Or Bill Flaw? A Closer Look At The H.R. 336 Controversy

Disclaimer: Most information in this article is a result of a public survey created on Monday, the 6th of May...

Ads3 weeks ago

Unleash Your Musical Talent: Join the Battle of the Bands for Education!

RICHMAN, SAN ANDREAS (WZL)—Calling all musicians, bands, and music enthusiasts! Get ready to rock and showcase your skills at the...

Stella's Scoops4 weeks ago

Stella’s Scoops Volume 69

Wow, that’s a lot of Scoops… NICE! Let’s get into it! Got Talent? The Board of Education is inviting all...

Crime4 weeks ago

Major Crimes Division Press Release: La Mesa PD Destroyed

The Major Crimes Division issued a press release in the late evening hours of Saturday night, sharing the news of...

San Andreas Snaps4 weeks ago

April Snaps Are In!

April was filled with earth events, such as National Parks Week and Stoner Daze, to name a few. I asked...