I have the most beautiful car ever. We have a very special connection. How can I legally marry my car?
– Auto Addict<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dear Auto Addict, <\/em> Dear Dear Dear Troubled and Tracksuited, Dear Honestly though, the \u201cfighting women off all the time\u201d problem I can help you with – Just send them my way. I\u2019ll make sure they\u2019re taken care of!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Alright, phew, we did it! Another round of submissions done. Maybe this will be enough to impress Dolores? I hope so. Maybe if I just – Love, Karly<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hi. Me again. The goth girl from Twitter. You ever just have those days where you think, \u201cGosh, Dolores is really hot, I wanna do some of her pile of work so she\u2019ll think I\u2019m hot and decide to be polyamorous and go out on a date with me\u201d? No? Oh. Well, I do! And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":906,"featured_media":5754,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[185],"tags":[3],"ppma_author":[278],"class_list":["post-6041","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-featured"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Dear_Karly2.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":278,"user_id":906,"is_guest":0,"slug":"karlystark","display_name":"Karly Stark","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/9208633b442986e258a1721c5f91403113b8feba2c7f11f892e52ff1fc28ab10?s=96&d=wp_user_avatar&r=g","1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6041","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/906"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6041"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6041\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6043,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6041\/revisions\/6043"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6041"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6041"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6041"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weazel-news.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=6041"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
How does that even work though. Like, how do you and the car\u2026 You know? And, do you have other cars? Do they get jealous? Or are you guys all in one big \u201cpoly-car\u201d-bonate relationship? As far as the legality goes though, I mean, a lady married a rollercoaster before – But I don\u2019t know if that was legally recognized. There\u2019s not really any laws AGAINST it. But not really any laws FOR it, either. Hmmm. I\u2019d say contact a lawyer! Maybe they can tell you it\u2019s legal only for the federal government to strike it down and make you cry.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nDolores<\/s> Karly,
<\/strong>How can I become the tiger king of San Andreas
– Joe Exotic for President<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/c.tenor.com\/ef9JYPfIxxIAAAAC\/getting-up-done.gif\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nDolores<\/s> Karly,<\/strong>
I’ve recently been getting fashion advice from a friend (I’ll call him Glake) and it’s been going over really well. I’ve been getting compliments left and right and hardly anyone points out how big my face is anymore. I look good and there’s no denying it.
However as part of the process, Glake has been burning all my old tracksuits. I used to have over 15 beautiful sets, all from the old country, and now only have 2. Every day I wake up afraid I will have none and remembering who I used to be.
How do I choose between looking great, and feeling great?
– Troubled and Tracksuited<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes you just gotta go outside and smell the roses burning tracksuits in the morning. Two tracksuits is more than enough, to be honest. Wash em regularly, though.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nDolores<\/s> Karly,<\/strong>
I am writing this for my friend who can\u2019t read or write and he shall remain anonymous.
Dolores what\u2019s the craic im Bosco Murphy. Just putting this out here I love killing snitches yeah and I\u2019ll continue to do it. So all these bitch made rats you\u2019re getting it haha
Also any chance I can get advice for being such a handsome bastard I\u2019m fighting the women off me all d time cause I\u2019m a famous gangster rapper
That\u2019s it Dolores long time fan new time writer, Yup lad Bosco
– Tony 4 Fingers<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/c.tenor.com\/MPEmXzVliLoAAAAC\/unbreakable-kimmy.gif\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
OH SHIT, MICKEY\u2019S BACK AGAIN, THIS TIME FROM DETROIT – THEY STOLE HIS HAT, OH SHIT, OH FUCK, POST POST POST POST<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n